Day 1:

Aati & Illum’s initiation. Go to sleep for the night.

Day 2: 

Get armor from Kristoff. Fight wolves. Short rest. Fight 3-Headed statue in the night. Get knocked out by Malexxis.

Day 3:

Level 2. Wake up to find temple destroyed. Fight cultists, meet Tayoris (Ted), and go to the brothel. Meet Long Dong Silver. Sleep for the night.

Day 4:

Purchase Long Dong Silver. Meet Bekela and go into the woods. Fight a Spider-bear. Meet Telfor & Dehalam. Enter crypt and fight bearded devil & zombie Telfor. Bury Telfor and rest.

Day 5:

Level 3. Return to Tarnstead. Meet Carl the Gruel Man. Fight some devils. Go to Raina P. Laudenslager’s cabin and rest.

Day 6:

Wake up to blue devil attacking them. Raina P. Laudenslager is dead. Funeral pyre for Raina where they accidentally smoke the horny bingbong. Attack guards while inebriated. Get put in jail. Go to sleep.

Day 7: 

Wake up in cell. Go to monastery. Drinking contest with Brother Vashenn. Challenged to duel by Pabarel Darkstone. Aati goes to library and meets Lane. Bar fight. Go to sleep.

Day 8:

Level 4. Meet potential champions for duel. Meet Shah-Pu Ki-Pa Longperson. Meet Barrel. Go to sleep. Have nightmare about noose skeletons.

Day 9:

Meet Wil the Smith and Uncle Phyll. Barrel agrees to help. Aati & Illum get caught up in a fight between Galrana and a Dwarven noble.

Day 10: 

The duel happens. Long Dong Silver dies. Arena explodes. Aati & Illum are put in jail. Level 5.




30 days pass




Day 40: 

Season 2. The Assblasters meet in Brinjal. Meet Sapodia, Vezharax, Hislen, Runir, & Maris. Head to Jose’Cuervoslin. Meet Crate & fight Turtle snake. Wallflower Campgrounds. Harass Smalfok. Go to sleep.

Day 41: 

Level 2. Traverse the inside of Leannin’s Wall. Fight the Lion statue. Get to Oakfen. Go to Grinning Kobold Inn. Get quest to stop cyclops from stealing children. Forg beats up the barkeep. Everyone goes to sleep.

Day 42:

Meet Biclops. Get beat up by Biclops. Flee Biclops. Set up traps. Defeat Biclops & Garius. Harlow gets sucked into the puzzle box. Return to Oakfen. Get accused of treason by Bellis Diamondback. Guard Captain Terrill knocks out Bellis and lets them leave. Go to Agar Taure. Fall asleep.

Day 43: 

Level 3. Wake up in Fey Wilds. Meet Robin Goodfellow & Winston the Dire Corgi. Get led into a trap at the Court of Frogs. Meet Gorp & King Pepe. Pepe takes the puzzle box and sends them to the Eladrin ruins to find goblins who kidnapped his adviser. Capture the goblins, beat the giant scorpion, take scorpion axe & Eladrin crown, retrieve Henrietta the goat adviser. Go to spooky ghost mansion. Fight faceless ghost. Sleep in a cavern.

Day 44:

Level 4. Return to frogfolk. Pepe has disappeared on a fishing challenge. Gorp is king now. Forg uses Eladrin crown to name himself king, then names one of the goblins as king. Frogfolk brawl erupts as the Assblasters escape. Meet Luzz (aka Pepe 2). Find Robin Goodfellow. He gives them Winston. Leave Fey Wilds. Travel for half a day. Sleep under a butte.

Day 45:

Pepe 2 robs them in the night and bailed. Meet Ellary. Get to the Elven Capital City. Grallic tries to sell them slaves. Go to sleep at an inn.

Day 46:

Meet the king regent, Praxis Darkstone. Head to Jose’Cuervos’lin. Meet Squander. Go to bed. Hear chains and scratching in the night. Go back to sleep.

Day 47: 

Performances. Forg wrestles Lil Justice. Win the competition. Squander agrees to sneak you out in the middle of the night. Sneak out. Encounter 2Chainz. Sapodia is taken to Hell. Return to castle. Learn about Squander sacrificing tournament winners to devils. Vow to rescue Sapodia. Go to sleep.

Day 48: 

Go through the Hellmouth. Celebrate Bloodmas at midnight.

Day 49:

Fight the Nightmare Rider. Winston loses a leg. Forg’s sword is shattered. Meet Al Dente. Fight Tupac. See vision from L.A.Z.H.O.R.’s past. Enter D’Jay’Kaled’s Palace of S’xess. Meet Vaerog. Fight 2Chainz. Rescue Sapodia and other prisoners. Seal is broken. Warp back to Earth. Squander teleports them to Ellary’s temple. Ellary heals them and fixes Forg’s sword. Level 5. She warps them to Capital City. Fight D’Jay’Kaled. Successfully save both king regent and Ellary. She casts forbiddance and banishes his devil army. Accidentally burn up D’Jay’Kaled’s horn. The whole city goes on a devil horn-induced acid trip for 24 hours.

Day 50:

Devil horn acid trip

Day 51: 

Bradperson is suddenly part of the group and nobody remembers him ever not being part of the group. The group helps the city rebuild. King Regent invites them to sleep in noble guest quarters. Go to sleep. Woken up by assassination attempt by Peace & Quiet. Capture Quiet. Interrogate him. Find out Durian sent the assassins.. L.A.Z.H.O.R. lets Quiet go. Bradperson follows him. Go back to sleep.

Day 52:

Black Friday. Get golden chariot. Feast in honor of Assblasters. The group participates in contest of the gods. Meet Salarymander, Baegon, and MICAIHAB. Forg gets little frog buddies. Get Immovable Rod, silver raven, & pearl of power. “Exile” Squander. Meet Leomund. Travel through the night. Winston sleepwalks as he pulls the carriage.

Day 53:

Get to Oakfen. Reunion with Biclops. Try to break Terrill out of prison. Vaerog gets taken hostage. Interrupt stage play. Beat the guards and Drandir. Go back to Biclops’ hut. Get arrested by more guards. Put in prison overnight.

Day 54:

Taken to be publicly executed. Rescued by Biclops and the frogfolk. Gorp had made a deal with Crate. Gorp takes away Bellis for a “fishing challenge”. Frogfolk control Oakfen now. Sleep in chariot. Level 6. Travel for most of the day. Return to Brinjal. Get airship and rewards. Sapodia chooses to stay behind in Brinjal. Meet Cap’n Huggins. Meet Vultures. Agree to depose Durian. Go to sleep at Tailfeather Tavern.

Day 55: 

Wake up. Fight Durian’s guards. Lose and run away. Sleep in Leomund’s Tiny Hut.

Day 56:

Arrive at blockaded Elmoor. Crate sneaks them into the city. Meet Barrel. Harass E.L.Fudge. Meet Fanetan and Galrana. Nearly get arrested for threatening E.L.Fudge. Pabarel Darkstone invites them back to his house. Sleep. Vaerog meets Jackson the white bronco in the middle of the night.

Day 57: 

O’Jae reclaims Jackson. L.A.Z.H.O.R. pretends to be a “horse repairman” and rescues Jackson. Leave the city and head toward Tarnstead. Travel through the night.

Day 58:

Hear Ted cry for help. Fight the barbed devil (Belbiv the Foe) and rescue Vezharax. Vezharax joins the group. Sleep at an inn in Tarnstead.

Day 59:

Travel to Waleah. Meet Minerva Hanson. Sleep in her cabin.

Day 60: 

Travel most of the day. Arrive at Waleah at sunset. See that it was destroyed. Bradperson returns. Harlow pops out of the box. Traverse temple beneath Waleah. Meet Aati. Fight the Wall of Spirits. Go to Leomund’s Tiny Hut and rest.

Day 61:

Return to dungeon. Meet Hooup. Fight the Minotaur Skeleton. Level 7. Leave the dungeon. Meet Ghost-Faced Killer. Fight off hordes of zombies. Return to Leomund’s Tiny Hut. Zone of Truth interrogation. Sleep.

Day 62:

Head to Khelukkhaz.

Day 63:

Traveling to Khekukkhaz.

Day 64:

Traveling to Khelukkhaz. Get appointment to see Queen Qay’leen. Meet Comma and Ellipsis. Meet Qay’leen and Phart. Phart joins the group. Sleep at the Sans Ranch.

Day 65:

Help out around the ranch. Platonic male bonding for the cow. Go to sleep.

Day 66:

Get the key for the temple. Main entrance is caved in. Travel up the mountain. Meet Magister Grelkin. Go to dungeon. Meet MC Thicc Boi. Fight the Mage Slayer. Level 8. Phart leaves the group. Head to Del’Tassi. Forg encounters resistance fighters from his homeland. He returns with them to reclaim his former kingdom from the empire. Go to sleep.

Day 67: 

Meet the Barrio Brothers. Head to Del’Tassi. Meet Brother Chadwick. Go into dungeon beneath Del’Tassi. Fight Shadow Wolf. Fight Sisters. Fight Gorillapede statue. Level 9. Drink with the bros at Del’Tassi. Head to Fuluz’Mora, pass out, and crash the chariot.

Day 68:

Arrive at Fuluz’Mora. Go to the Golden Tapir Inn. Meet Malexxis. Meet Madoff and Lord Siloughby. Rest. Get-rich-quick contest.

Day 69: 

The king’s petition game starts at midnight. Meet Mayor McCheeze, Ponelope, Rhomb Rubyheart, and King Goldenbeard. Win the petition game. Get Aati & Illum pardoned. Order construction of Clout Ruler Temple. Meet Captain Cuck. Head to Cacot. Travel half a day. Pass through Memorial Valley.

Day 70:

Traveling to Cacot

Day 71:

Traveling to Cacot

Day 72:

Fight Old Dirty Bastard. Meet Picelric. Captain Cuck dies. Tokyo drift the gold chariot. Gold chariot is destroyed. Level 10.